I recently attended a Heart Talk with Rodolfo at The Yoga Barn here in Bali. It was a free offering open to all with the title of ‘What do you bring to relationships’. Not only did the title intrigue me but it got me questioning, what do I actually bring to relationships with my students, my friends, family, husband and even myself – what do I bring to the relationship to myself? Interesting.
Before the talk I was meeting a friend for lunch and time slipped away so by the time we got there it had already began but the door was still open so we went in, found a bolster and got comfortable.
There were a few things in particular Rodolfo mentioned and questioned to the group as a whole. With no need to raise a hand and give an answer my contemplation was an inner one. For example:
My willingness to recognise your worthiness
I love the clarity and authenticity of this statement. Think about it; how willing are you to recognise the other person’s worthiness? Is this done consciously or unconsciously? Or are you too caught up in wanting your worthiness to be recognised that you do not even bother about recognising theirs?
Give space for the other to be heard
How often do we speak over others or interrupt before they have finished their sentence? I am guilty of this and I think we all are! When we know someone quite well it is easy to second guess what they are going to say based on what we know about their beliefs, past conversations and experiences with them. The idea of giving space for the other to be heard is also to let the story go (see below) and see this person as completely new. You never know, maybe they will surprise you!
Every limiting belief is your baggage
And how much baggage are you carrying? Our belief systems are shaped from our experiences at birth, our interaction with our parents, our first best friend at school, our first lover and so on. But how open minded are you to leave your baggage behind in order to move into place where the mind has no limiting beliefs? Challenging, yes, but so liberating! We tend to put ourselves in a box by what we believe is right / wrong / fair and just. I think this one in particular will take some time but once we massage the mind and the ego with these new changes the baggage will shrink and maybe even disappear.
How embodied are you with your integrity of expression
I also love this one. How authentic are you with speaking your truth and expressing this from a place of love and compassion? Are you able to show up in relationships from a place of total integrity, which is resonating from inner to outer? The word embodiment is used a lot these days especially in the yoga community and it makes me wonder what people think this word actually means. Prana Flow yoga it is very much an embodied practice where the entire body is soft but engaged regardless if we are in shavasana or handstand. We are connected to the movements of prana within the body, which enhances our over all experience – we move and breathe from a place of integrity, honesty and self expression.
Let the story go
Ah yes! This one spoke to me the loudest and holds so much truth. In relationships, over time we get caught up in our story together. Our experiences, the fun times, the adventures, the conversations, the arguments and the laughter. All of this shapes and creates a fairytale of two souls meeting, bonding and aligning with the same path. All of this is beautiful but when the time comes to find a place of mutual understanding and respect we must let the story go. Once again we can not let our knowledge of this persons opinion get in the way of listening to their expression of integrity.
Acceptance – finding where you are at to be ready to receive
There is a saying you have to love yourself first in order to receive love. Acceptance is huge when it comes to relationships, we share all that we are with another, there is no hiding, no pretending or tip toeing around the edges – we have to show up in order to connect and contribute to the relationship. Knowing where you are at, be confident in your offering and be open to receive. Relationships are a beautiful experience but it is easy to get caught up and lost in the other person. Accept where you are at and receive this person with an open heart.
All of the above is easy to think about and read but it really takes a conscious effort to put it all into practice. Thank you Rodolfo for sparking this insight, I look forward to the next heart talk. Rodolfo has a huge library of books and audio recordings available to all. Check them out here www.RodolfoYoung.com/podcasts