My Distractions And Me

my_destractions_and_meI have come to the understanding that I am my own my biggest distraction, even on days when I think I have it together, I am feeling 108% present and life is flowing like a continuous stream of endless possibilities. Even when everything is saying yes to me and I could not ask for any more signs that I am on the right track, I still sometimes find myself gazing blankly off into space totally distracted by whatever is behind the veil. Its not that I am ungrateful it is just the way it is at times.

The three main culprits for distraction

Visual: My eyes – everywhere I look I find myself getting lost in the beauty of my surroundings or judging what I would change about what I am looking at or not even any of that I just find myself mastering the art of staring off into the distance not really thinking much at all.

Mental: My mind – my thoughts are like jumping beans, they bounce and flutter around like butterflies during mating season. I analyse my day with fast precision and shallow contemplation about the to do list of the day and once I realise how long the list actually is I have no problems continuing to stare off into space even though the mind is shouting these things need to be done yesterday and its vital to start everything NOW!

Physical: My body – depending on the quality of my sleep depends on how much time I spend on the mat, these days it is generally about an hour. It is possible to be in deep contemplation during a lunge to open my hips or in downward dog to stretch out my calves and I close my eyes and let the tightness melt away. For this split second I feel totally present in my body but in the next moment my eyes are open and I am checking out my nails and decide to cut them today and that it is about time buy a new toe ring.

So my sun salutation goes a little like this: Standing in mountain pose… I take my awareness to my feet and realise how wobbly I am this morning… I take a few breaths, find steadiness and continue. Inhale… my arms over the crown of my head, feeling a little lazy but doing it anyway as I am looking forward to the forward bend which comes next. Exhale forward fold, oh my hamstrings! Steadying myself I scan my toes and spread them a little wider, the urge to pick at the nail polish is there but I don’t succumb. Inhale, I step lightly back into plank. Engaging, feeling strong and at ease as my weight is evenly distributed through my hands, I realise how much easier it is to be in a plank pose while my mind is still half asleep and my body relatively soft with that just got out of bed sensation. Exhaling… I take a moment to decide if I should put my knees down for support or go for the full chaturanga. Whatever my choice I find myself on my belly and I inhale into a low cobra. Staring at the ceiling, I begin to take in the shapes and patterns of the wooden beams above me just like finding dragons and elephants in the clouds, I see eyes and warped looking faces looking back at me. Exhale, I make my way back into downward dog, feeling more awake now as I make an effort to extend my heels to the earth and lift my tailbone high. I inhale deeply here and make a conscious decision to jump lightly my feet to my hands. Exhaling deeply as I land, hugging my thighs to my chest, I realise how much my toes contribute to my balance and that I cant remember the last time I had a foot massage. Inhale as my arms rise and I make my way up to standing, reaching tall my arms feel lighter, my body more awake and I hope during my next cycle I will be able to ignore the peeling skin on the bottom of my big toe.

I feel as though I am more comfortable with my distractions now that I have identified with them. I see them coming and I choose in that moment if I should follow or not, most of the time I am not quick enough which means they take the lead but on the rare occasion they pass like clouds in the sky and in this moment I connect with the sensation in my mind which is like a vast open field where possibilities are endless, freedom beckons and all is quietly aligned.

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