Wanting to be seen, found, heard and recognised for the work we do is on everyones lips. Seeking to gain more followers to have a larger client base, grow your mailing list to connect with people a few times a month to sell your courses, products and latest treatments and having to boost and pay for your posts on social media so they are found by the right people and potential customers is all the rave.
It seems that self love and realism is being fazed out and being replaced with a popularity contest, there’s growing competition to see who can follow and unfollow the most people in one day and real human connection is a rarity especially when we can easily stalk people online to see where they are, what they are doing and how popular they are in their community. So much of our judgements towards others is created by how we perceive them to be online and of course how they sell/ market/ portray themselves.
My business was built from an inner calling, an organic need, a glowing desire, a clear purpose of service and a lust for travel, culture and embodied experience. Nothing more. Now I find myself staring blankly at the screen as I manage my four insta accounts mindlessly scrolling/ liking and commenting, feeling uninspired because I don’t have an agent which finds me work and collaborations with big brands to help expand my business over night to reach more people and ultimately make more money.
I unintentionally like strangers posts with the hope they will follow me and sign up to my newsletter and seeing others do the same as we are being drawn more and more inwards retreating away from what really matters into a myriad of stress and anxiety – all the while trying to sell ourselves as health conscious experts who live the dream and have got our shit together. When did we loose sight of the bigger picture? Is it possible to live a full 24hrs without even thinking about what to post, write, take a photo of, upload a insta story or other strategic steps to reach more people. Honestly, I don’t think so.
Phew! Aren’t you tired of this? My pondering of late has bought me full circle and is making me question what this is all for, whats it all about and why do we care so much about what others think? Acceptance and belonging is obvious because its human nature to want to connect and feel love but do you receive this from a few likes on your posts? This dopamine effect of having X amount of followers is incredibly addictive because it makes us feel popular, loved, adored and accepted but my fellow readers I once again ask, what is it all for?
Don’t get me wrong, I am a fan of social media and the world wide web. A huge part of my offerings have reached so many via this platform and for that I am grateful. In the past few years I have noticed a rise in receive Mastery in a few days, certifications in weeks and seemingly over night success which is backed by only a smidgen of experience. I love the old school way of studying with one teacher for years before venturing out to teach, researching and studying different practices over many moons before packaging them up to sell and really respecting our elders before calling ourselves a Master in any field of work.
I hear the call to pump out a 200hr yoga teacher trainings in 30 days but my integrity says no. I am told I should plan all my social media postings a few weeks in advance to ‘save time’ but my heart cringes at projecting a visual story of myself which hasn’t happened yet. I was advised to be more visual online, share my personal story of trauma and radical childhood upbringing but my spirit won’t let me. Now I am questioning, since I am doing things my way is this not the right way, is this why I am not meeting my own version of success? To be honest if I do it any other way I feel as though I am undermining myself.
So what is the purpose of this post? Yes to add content to my webpage, maybe receive some more hits for my google ranking, perhaps a sprinkling of subscribers, a comment or two, if I’m lucky a few sales but ultimately to share that if you are struggling with social media, having your integrity questioned, knowing that your business offers depth and richness from life experiences but you’re not being found, instead you’re seeing an influx of business going elsewhere (not because you’re not good enough) because of their insta famous profile I am here to tell you, you are not alone. I see your gifts, I know the journey you endured to arrive where you are now and I understand your frustrations at how popularity focused and visually accepted driven we have all become.
At the end of the day I ask myself, how can I support the growth and evolution of the human spirit? Then I try and implement this daily, regardless of how many sign ups I have to my training, how many countries I have taught in this year or how seemingly successful my life maybe. This question brings me back to my truth, my purpose and my path.
My shameless plug: If your stuck in a rut, feeling flat and tired or searching for honest connection and support moving forward I have a few limited spaces left in my Mentorship program this year. Reach out for a free consult if this resonates with you. Please note my program doesn’t come with quick fixes or empty promises, its purely a platform of inspiration, a sounding board for growth and development, a space to be productive in alignment with your work and so much more.
Dear Delamay…I’m in. Loved reading this honesty post from you & thank you so much…here was the twilight zone moment..your found the moon woman post as I did this morning. Lately..I felt myself shrinking away from my purpose. Thankfully, I have a small handful of believers that keep returning weeke after week to my little local classes. I do need a mentor though 100% I do. And I would love it if we connect for a chat soon xo
You are most welcome Dianne! Wonderful to hear you have a tribe which keeps coming back for more of what you offer while you keep in real in your community. Feel free to reach out at anytime for a free Mentorship consult to see how I can support your journey. Full details can be found here https://www.delamaydevi.com/yoga-mentorship-program/ Much love xxx
Love the honesty and i agree its mostly about human to human connection…..we get it from and how we need. Theres so many platforms lets not limit it but embrace how people come to us. Sounds like your right on your track with how you want to do it.
Insirational read, thank you.
Thanks for your honest and authentic sharing! That’s WHY I follow you!!Because your all heart and soul through and through and that’s why I resonste with you and your teaching and wisdom and gifts 💚🙏
Awwww! Bless your gorgeous heart! So much love to you Amura XXX
Dearest Delamay. Thank you for this heartfelt and authentic post and I agree with everything you’ve written 108%.
Only yesterday I was talking about the same thing. Thank you for sharing.
I feel this too and I really dislike the pressure to be more visible online; and to say / do certain things in order to “engage”. I much prefer genuine, heartfelt communication. Yet as a business owner; supporting myself through my business….I also accept that I have to do some of this to “survive”. I’m currently navigating the fine line between sharing / showing up what is natural and authentic to me and also doing what needs to be done to avoid getting lost / unseen in social media.
Over the last few weeks I’ve unsubscribed from quite a few groups…led by “masters” who have built businesses with no heart substance and often no “product” or “service” just a coaching program that shows you how to be as beautiful / successful / rich as they are!!
Like you; I value how the internet and social media allows me to reach people all over the world. Through your retreats; I’ve made friends worldwide and we stay connected via social media and I love that. But I’m also resisting ( despite being told it’s “the thing to do” to run online courses because I truly believe there needs to be a connection and presence for me to truly share what I’m passionate about.
Love you and your honestly. Stay doing what you do so beautifully 💖💖
You are most welcome Allison! It really is a world wide epidemic which is spreading like wild fire and is causing so much stress and anxiety for so many. Especially small businesses and people just starting out on the yoga teaching path now. I think you do an amazing job with your posts, blogs and sharing your medicine with your followers. Well done for unsubscribing from the groups which were not supporting your growth and evolution in a positive way. Here’s to keeping it real and staying true! Lots of love XXX
Dear Sweet Delamay, What a powerful REAL post which says it all. This is going out through all my channels on Social. What you have written sums up so beautifully what’s happening to most of us now. Having been completely offline in western NSW for a few days I found every bone in my body relaxing. I was talking with people, laughing swimming, resting …basically living a normal life. Nothing beats connecting with real humans, teaching people in person. The dilemma is real, but posts like this from your heart to ours is what counts. Anyone would be lucky to study with you! Rach xx
Thank you SO much Rachel! This means a lot to me as when I first wrote it I just felt like I was complaining and ranting on but as I went through the editing process I realised there’s not much I wanted to change because there was so much truth written there which so many are struggling with. Your time offline sounds sublime! I am sure your cells LOVED you for it! Thank you SO much for sharing it far and wide on FB. Lots of love! XXX
I feel exactly as you do. There’s hardly a minute in the day that passes without thinking about what to post next or how I can leverage social media for my business. It’s totally exhausting and distracting from what’s really important and what I’m passionate about, which is connecting with people in person and on the mat. I enjoy following my global network of friends and associates on social media but I’ve recently been contemplating reducing my business presence rather than building it, after all its getting harder and harder for business posts to be seen without paying for the privilege, and no guarantee that they’re being seen by the right people as my feed now seem to be full of sponsored posts from random businesses that I have little or no interest in, rather than those I feel genuinely connected to. I don’t have the answers either, but I think maybe social media should remain exactly that, a ‘social’ platform for friends to connect, but it has been hijacked as a commercial platform. It’s like going to a cafe or a bar or a party to connect with friends and your conversation being constantly interrupted by advertisers and businesses trying to sell you their produces or services. As a business owner I’m seriously thinking about stepping out of the picture and finding alternative ways to reach/connect with prospective clients.
Thank you for taking the time to read this Amanda! These challenges really do take the heart and soul out of our businesses which we hold so dearly and pour our time and energy into. I agree, social media should just be a place for connecting ‘socially’. Not a place where we are force fed advertising and are at the whim of algorithms. Your example of being at a party with friends and blatantly being interrupted by advertisers made me laugh but it is the actual reality of what is going on!!! I am sure you will make the right decision based on whats best for your business and community moving forward. Much love XXX
Ahhhh this is so REAL! This is why I hardly post… it all feels so manufactured and fake.
And it gives me anxiety because I know I should be posting, but I can’t bring myself to post, just for the sake of posting. when I do try to follow the “formula” I feel a sense of shame or unease as it just isn’t an authentic expression of me. Thanks so much for your honesty delamay, It’s so nice to know others feel the same way, and a great reminder to stay true to your purpose and not be sucked in to the popularity contest. Sending so much love to you and reverence for having the strength to stand in your power. You are a magnificent teacher and beautiful soul.
Most welcome Gemma! Yes, it is a test of might and dedication to our authentic teaching path. It’s too easy to get sucked into ‘thinking’ your business and profile should be a certain way when in actual fact, it’s not a one size fits all kinda program. Thank you for taking the time to read 🙂 Radiating love back to you! XXX
I couldn’t help but read this and inwardly nod the whole way through. You articulation of what so many of us are feeling in so on point. I see people in my day to day connections tired and frazzled from the busy of everyday life, yet social media is filled with gloss. Whilst I have gained so much over the years from certain online connections, it’s drawing us away from meaningful face to face connections which nourish our souls in a way social media rarely can. Thank you for laying bare your thoughts on this so courageously. Sending you big love.
Thank you for your comments and for sharing your thoughts Anne. I am constantly amazed and saddened at how much extra stress and anxiety social media is impacting our everyday life. Why have we become to ‘okay’ with gloss and pretence when we all know REAL connection is where it’s at – not this constant seeking for approval and projecting a false image of ourselves. Big love back to your gorgeous heart! XXX
Thank you for sharing Delamay. I feel the frustration in what you write. I’ve been through the washing machine of social media only because I didn’t know how to use it in a way that is joyful and true for me and in service to the divine. Its a continual learning. I think most people go through that when they are trying to grow their business. I don’t judge any of it, or any one, and I know you don’t either. Finding our balance, finding our own way, helping others do that too, staying true to what you love and what brings you joy is the biggest magnet to bringing others into your sphere and being in service in a collaborative and less competitive way in the world. One by one, side by side. Big love to you and the integrity and honesty you bring in.
Thank you for your kind words Aesha! I agree, balance is key and bucket loads of Joy goes a long way 🙂 I try and keep it real as much as possible and take everything I see with a pinch of salt and save my opinions for when I actually see and meet someone in person. May Joy grow wings and bless all who cross your path! Lots of love xxx
Thank you for sharing this so authentically from the heart ❣I agree with everything you shared too and it is so reassuring to know I’m not alone in experiencing this too. As a Children’s yoga specialist I am eternally seeking the expression of joy in all I do to convey that to others through these platforms is exhausting at times ! I feel relieved to not be alone in this 🙏 We haven’t met yet but I hope to one day as both Rachel and Lisa are my dearest friends x Much love to you ❤️X
Thank you so much for commenting Karen 🙂 I am positive we will cross paths one day! You are most definitely not alone here. Being a children’s yoga specialist you have a great opportunity to really educate and inform the next generation and their teachers in a truly empowering way. I am a huge fan of Joy and all the magic it brings. Here’s to keeping it real and infused with JOY all the way! Hugs xxx
Delamay,
I so relate to and love this post. I am currently working with a mature business coach. I felt there were and are too many coaches that haven’t done it themselves but are trying to teach what they have had the time yet to experience. It seems that everyone is an expert nowadays. I also have been pondering over creating an online course for around 4 years.. Based on my own journey of wellbeing, spirituality and just getting to really know who I am as a person and a person who wants to support people through that process. Though there were a million and one programs offering to make my program a success and be earning zillions by the end of the year – it didn’t sit right with me. After another four years of self work and many other holistic/spiritual experiences I am now ready. Any way my point is that experience take exactly that – experience and there’s no short cuts to creating the foundations to a healthy and authentic mind, body and soul. Love your post. Wish there were more speaking from there heart.. Not the polished version! Xxx
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment Laura. All the best with your course, I am positive it will be found by the right people who really resonate and benefit from your creation. It sounds like its been in the cauldron for a wonderful amount of time and is now ripe for your tribe. I agree, there are no short cuts, only true authentic experience which comes from being brave and courageous in doing it your own way 🙂 Blessings! xxx
Thank you Delamay for such a balanced and honest and articulate post. I love the connection social media gives me to lots of people and it makes me feel closer to people who come to my classes but I’m very aware of the checking to see how many likes a certain post has gathered, and that behavior sits uncomfortably with me. You are very special I’m glad I know you XX
It is my absolute honour Mary. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this post. I agree, social media is great for so many things but not so great when it consumes and controls us. Sending love! xxx
Dear Delamay, I totally feel you! Modern “social media strategy” is always prompting “be out there”, “share your story!”, “plug your stuff”; and I find it such a challenge to my nervous system. I so prefer the organic way of meeting people and connecting in person. Like Allison I feel really repelled by a lot of “Masters” who seem to have no substance except for their ability to promote themselves. Really support you in what you’re doing <3 <3 <3
Lovely Donna! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post and for your supportive words. Here’s to more Vata pacifying activities and organic divinely aligned meetings with like minded people and naturally growing our tribe away from the pretence of social media 🙂 So much love! xxx
Radiant angel Delamay, your heart is So huge and your courage to publish truth, inspired. I feel you, I know you and I meet you in the vibe of ‘what to do’. Only yesterday I took a pen to four pages and wrote from an entirely different context however the subtext was revealed the same. In an industry where we LIVE our work, discerning the practice from the perception is painful sometimes and often ‘feels’ pressured. Comparing a filtered picture to what is, rarely fits and I often ask why. My soul aches in such days and I’ve refused to give over to so much of it. Not to resist, rather disinterest yet notice more recently the insta likes fluctuating in the tens often daily. What is this ? We are all grappling for what ? Likes, recognition, love ? There are surely other ways for all that and business success and yet we participate. Yes it pains. I feel it and not only for myself. When all heart and soul is at stake how to live truth and separate the essential steps that support the base ?! Well, I think your sharing is a profound step in the right direct and I honour your radiant heart. It’s relevant, honest and has nothing to do with anything the social channels do not need to know about you. Power to you ! Keep rising bright beauty. Love you !
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment my Devi sistar 🙂 Your reflection and feedback is so valuable and I cherish every word. This cycle of posting, liking and commenting keeps us connected and up to date with each other lives regardless of how far away we are but it saddens me when I speak to others who’s health is being affected by the constant pressure to be seen and to BE someone other then their perfect selves. I honour your radiant heart and for your work in the world. Together we will continue to Rise and support the next generation to do the same. I look forward to reading your writing 🙂 Love you too! XXX
Dear Delemay, you really shouldn’t question whether your way is right. Your way is your way, your success is your success and the scale depends on how much you feel it right and what success or right is for you, not somebody else’s measure. PLease don’t compare yourself to others! You are so unique! I am not a yoga teacher, I have never taken part in any ofyour courses or purchased from you, but I follow you because of a personal interaction at the om yoga show in London at the hippsy stand and you bought a hippsy from me (that little business is not exsisting any more, but was a great lesson!) Now I am working on building my massage business and yes, integrity is a key. I find myself struggling with posts or being present on social media all the time, because I am rubbish at advertising and truly believe that if something is right and I trust, it will atrract the same people who do so and need my services. Obviously it is not easy when I have bills to pay and hectic income, but as long as I feel good too after each treatment given, that is my feedback that yes, who cares if I don’t get likes or don’t know what to post next. I am human, I make mistakes, I lack abilities and skills and cannot be on top with everything, but i do firgive myself. And even for doubting myslef sometimes, because I am here to learn and I hate when I am frustrated about how things turn out and I hate when I am inpatient, but it is part of it. AndI really likethat you don’t try masking that you face doubts and frustrations, because I used to expected yoga to sort me out completely. I wanted to let my childrenbe on my own, just let me breath and practice on my own without being disturbed, but they would not let me. And I got frustrated! And ifI had the time for myself, practiced from the first second to the last I wantedto dedicate to myslef on the mat, I got frustrated at theend of the day! Because I imagined a life to myself and things I had didn’t match. I wanted things to happen from outside of me. I am still learning, but I feel a lot better now about this and I am so blessed to meet people like you through social media,who inspire me on this path of mine! Your presence has a huge inpact. I do not know how much it counts to you, but you do have an impact on me since we met back in 2012 or 2013?cannot remember now. ALl blessings to you, on your journey and beutiful soul! I havejust got this message today and would like to pass it on to you: “Keep your head up and keep moving forward.” Eric Ho
Namaskaram beauty, thank you so much for your comment and for sharing your experience in a beautiful vulnerable way. I do remember meeting you and happily purchasing the Hippsy from you in London 🙂 I am sorry to hear that business is not exciting anymore. May your new massage business venture continue to grow and flourish. This blog wasn’t necessarily me questioning my own success but rather inspired by the many conversations of struggle and doubt within my mentorship program. Anxiety and stress is on the rise and the impact of social media is a big part of this especially with new yoga teachers and graduates and this social media struggle is real. I agree, self forgiveness is huge and helps healing on all levels. Thank you for the Eric Ho message, very positive and motivational for sure! Many blessings on your journey and I hope we cross paths again one day! Lots of love XXX